Lady walking through a stone archway at the Lady Bird Botanical Garden
Kristy Dodson
Kristy Dodson

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I sit holding it in my lap as I begin to warm in the early spring sun. It is the true essence of a love-hate relationship. It’s brought me inspiration, reflection, and tears. Seeing my journal on the arm of my chair stirs up emotion. Today, a fresh discovery of hindsight brought balance to this friendship between me and this pink leather book.

Nature on concrete

Deep In The Pages

It is cold in the house today. The power company is replacing some failing power poles on our street and had the power off at our house for several hours. Once I realized why my toes had become cold, I headed to the back patio to sit in the sun. I planned to write today, but with no power and no internet, I figured I was off the hook. Instinctively, I grabbed my journal and the new Southern Living magazine that came yesterday. The anticipation of unwrapping fresh inspiration made me settle in pretty quickly outside. But the journal was on top and suddenly I was deep in the pages of last year.

Lost In Last Year

This is where the love-hate relationship with journaling comes in. I often dread the thought of sitting down and writing. A blank page stares back and the naysayer in me begins to tell the rest of me that I have nothing to write. Inevitably, I begin to thumb through the pages and soon realize I am lost in last year’s thoughts. Hindsight begins to speak.

Perspectives

The details my mind hid away begin to resurface. My emotions go from reminiscing to sadness to laughter to nostalgia and back around to the present. I appreciate myself for taking the time to document the ordinary. I realize how much time has passed when distant happenings seem like just last month or even last week. The hindsight I receive from reading my journal is that emotions serve a purpose, but they also change quickly. What seemed to be a difficult, never-ending experience is often a bridge to something new…something that pushes me to move forward. The severity or intensity of a place is not lessened, but with a little time in my journal and the gift of hindsight, I have new perspectives.

Hindsight That fills Me

So, I am encouraged to write once more. I may begin with what I see or with a random thought, but it’s hindsight that fills me deeper than the actual process of journaling. I know myself well enough to admit I can be stifled or even frozen by emotions. This is a roadblock I fight often. If only I could work within my hindsight maybe I would be more productive. Doesn’t this seem like a dream? But, I must embrace the fact that God did not create us to work that way. He gifted us with emotion and to deny it would be to deny our greatest potential. And so, I power through. I may not accomplish as much as my inner critic tells me I should, but the work I complete would not be genuine and specific to me if my emotions were not attached.

A lady on top of a mountain overlooking Fredericksburg Texas

Better Than Yesterday

Hindsight is a beautiful gift and has a purpose. It can never replace experience. It offers insight into what we might do better next go around and helps us find again our emotions while allowing a new perspective to guide us. God knew we would need hindsight. It is easily overlooked or taken for granted. Until I committed to journaling, I lacked a true appreciation for this cleverly designed part of my mind. God so graciously created hindsight for all of us to grab hold of, use, and grow into our “better than yesterday” selves.

A view from inside a bookstore looking at a green velvet sofa with a stained glass window above.

Keeping Hindsight Close

As the saying goes, hindsight is 20/20. I guess I can agree with this to some degree. Looking back is always easier. After all, we can see how it all worked out and talk about how we will do things better or differently. But in the meantime, I will embrace the emotions of now and let them create the experience in a way that is authentic and exclusive to me. Now, back to my pink leather book that keeps my hindsight close.

Stay Curious,

Daybook The Curiosity of You
Kristy Dodson

Kristy Dodson

I’m Kristy, the Daybook curiosity guide. Daybook is my archive of daily goings-on and journal for recording thoughts. Visit often, comment and let’s stay curious.

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